I said I was going to talk about fasting again, but I want to take another side-trip. I hope you won't mind coming along :)
During my counseling appointment today, I told my counselor I am learning a lot about myself as I write this blog, and that I am surprised how therapeutic it has been. Later, we were talking about the anxiety and strong grief that descends on me at bedtime, and she suggested I use the same method to invite the Lord to help me process these powerful emotions. She talked about going deep, and my first thought was, "The deeper I go into those emotions, the more exhausted and worn out I am, and the harder it is to keep from going there the next day." But she wasn't talking about surrendering to the grief and anxiety. She was talking about unpacking it and finding the jewels God has for me, as I surrender my grief and loneliness, my worries and anxiety to Him. All I need is paper and a pencil, and the Lord's help.
She talked about David's transparency in the Psalms, his struggles with worry and despair, and I thought about that. Everything he wrote was so transparent and beautiful, so validating to the rest of humanity that even David struggled with faith in the hard times. Maybe the Lord will give me a new song to sing.
Tonight, In the still, quiet moments before sleep when my thoughts often drift to missing my husband, and the pain and suffering I see all around me, instead of either surrendering to tears or shoving it all down, I will instead invite the Lord to reveal Himself to me. Tonight I'm going to be mining for jewels.
Have you ever journaled? If not, why not? If so, what has your journaling revealed, and how have those revelations impacted you?
Blessings, Friend!